- 6 years of no contact with dad, just started to have contact again. Not sure what I want.
- Narcissistic ex-stepfather, still traumatised. Concert at Sea, nightmares, flashbacks. --> make something beautiful out of it, creating new space, not touched by trauma. Moving to Rotteram this week.
- Something is allowed to be broken --> kind of broken myself, how to accept that?
- Getting good grades, only thing I was good at, now not a specialised thing, always feel bad about that. Like I am not REALLY good at anything, just okay at a lot of stuff.
Me trying to make myself feel better about being in my room in Rotterdam by taking pictures of it and my view.
Kind of a tutorial video/standard sit down youtube video of how I try to calm myself down when I am panicking, because of trauma.
- Narcissistic ex-stepfather, still traumatised. Concert at Sea, nightmares, flashbacks. --> make something beautiful out of it, creating new space, not touched by trauma. Moving to Rotteram this week.
Explanation different forms of PTSD:
DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE DURING A PANDEMIC
DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE DURING A PANDEMIC
It ain't that fun
Also haven't really packed out any stuff since everyone who helped me move yesterday, left. Only cleaned everything and made the bed. I feel like I am afraid to really make it 'my' place. It's like all of my stuff doesn't belong here. Like it'll actually be real when everything is settled.
Really try to mend my relationship to trauma. Not something to shy away from, it's there and I need to accept that (for now at least). How has it affected me? How can I calm myself down? How does moving out of the house the trauma happened in affect my mental health?